Everyone's trying to outsmart the smirking horror somewhere.  I think none of us even talked of the black side, we gathered all bits of reassurances and feed this greedy force eating up anyone's positive outlook.

Moment of Truth...

Today the doctor confirms that our friend has acute leukemia.  This week she won't be back at work at all.  She needs to undergo her first chemotherapy amounting to 200k php.  Chances? 50-50.

She still seems to look the same and I can't remember her any other way apart from the cheerful,energetic,even youthful and childish in some ways.  Any trace of illness, i still couldn't grasp at all even when last time her skin showed unusual markings.  She can smile.  Fake smile if you want to call it, for me it's a brave smile.

Things are happening too fast there's no time to pause and and try to block it.  Why too fast, I couldn't figure it out ?   When you're on the ferri's wheel swinging happy high and all the bolts and machine under loosens itself while youre mid-air...while you were laughing or perhaps kissing how could that horror be released like an evil deadly lightning? ...released that way, to cut all your senses good and bad , cut them all too eagerly unanticipated ...end...

When there are yet too many plans to make real, places to go and people to meet, goodness and beauty to behold and savor,  how could anyone else think of a dark twist?

I can't speak.

Only God knows Why.