This is how the mind slips away back and forth. It's disturbing how it lingers a while backspace only to blur  my eyes with a mist after the other. The same old four corners with the same  dark,fumy and clammy air, hanging in between the void between man and space. The chair, the bed,the pillow,the windows and walls, the floors and ceilings...somewhere at the center, a piece of torn paper...just like before. This odd numbing sense of familiarity. It's supposed to be fully, most assuredly numbing ache.   Should I wake up tomorrow and this be my home again, how ready am I to know? To make peace with my abandoned sanctuary, how is it? I thought I lost my way along the way of being free, long ago. But now I can't figure how I even found my again or did someone send me as far as back here ?

          There are clouds in my head, shifting into shapes and colors i willingly chase to nowhere.  That nowhere ... placid and formless, waiting and inviting. I don't know much reasons for staying and so i might leave. I hate to see your back against my face before I could turn away while my feet can make a well-adjusted effort for a short stride...maybe one at a time. Just one at a time until I can keep it going.

           Is this the bravest stunt I can dare for now? Braver than facing you silently with my gun and and pulling the trigger point blank? My heart can bleed a cup a day but it never runs out dry...Never...Not even if I die.